There are so many times that I just want to type out those thoughts I have. But then I started thinking what if that is not what people want from Modern Sewciety. What if I get to the computer and can’t think of those thoughts. Oh wait I don’t have any glamorous pictures to include in this post. And on and on.
I find myself struggling lately to be me, a wife, a mom, a podcaster, a sewist, a part of my kids schools as a volunteer, and I have just come to the conclusion that I am not a good blogger. I want to be but I hold myself back from it. I let those questions up there hold me back. I see all of the people follow on instagram and such “do it all” and I can’t seem to make it a day sometimes without saying I am running around in circles. I haven’t had time to get on my computer or instagram the past several weeks due to the campaign we are helping friends with. Heck I haven’t even had time to clean my house. I actually broke down and said I have to stay home until it is cleaned or I won’t be able to function. I did the minimum and then finished sewing a pillow case I was making my girls.
Then there are so many things I want to make that I get lost in the what do I make first? I have so many people that ask me to sew things for them and I don’t mind but I don’t have time. I want my sewing to be for me. Heck I think I could hire someone to just sew misc things for people and make a killing because they don’t sew and want something made. But the reality is that is not what I want to do.
Actually this is what I want to do. I want to go through my house and get rid of stuff that is just stuff because I want less. I want to put my fabric stash in my china cabinet with my china because they are both special to me. I want to look at both of them everyday! I yearn for creativity but when there is stuff to clean, to do, to look at I get lost. I like being someone who doesn’t commit to too much but lately I have. I think I am going to say no a little bit more this Fall and Winter and spend some time feeding my creativity. I think I will be a better person for it.
Do you ever feel this way?
Oh girl…it’s life! But it’s your life and you get to say “no”. No to people, no to cleaning the house and no to the word “should”. It’s one of the hardest things for many of us to do. When my girls were little I was the Girl Scout cookie mom, the PTA volunteer of the year, classroom mom, etc., etc. I was sewing dress ups and Halloween costumes and baking for everything and saying yes to everything because I thought it made me a better mom and volunteer. Then one night my littlest one needed something while I was on the computer. I told her “I can’t help you now, because I have a deadline with this PTA thing.” I was horrified as I heard myself speak. Here I was trying to be involved to make my girls’ lives better, but the reality was that it ended up taking far too much time away from them, my husband and myself! It was a turning point and I started saying no to a whole lot of everything in order to focus on what really mattered. I haven’t sewn for anyone in years because it takes away from what I want to do. I explain nicely that I just don’t have the time and that I find that the pressure of sewing for others even when well compensated takes away from the joy of creating. Most everyone gets it. If they don’t I do not care. You don’t have to blog if it’s not fulfilling and bringing you joy. If you’re in the middle of a quilt or sewing project and you find that you don’t love it anymore and just aren’t feeling it put it away. If going back to it a few months later feels you with happiness then finish it. If not, give it away or trade it for something that will make you happy. What’s your definition of clean? Does everything have to be immaculately spotless? Only if you live in a model house. Give the kids a Swiffer and see who can get done dusting faster. It’s time for an inventory of what brings you joy and how to have a happy family life. Put your fabric in your china cabinet!! Why not? he world goes on just fine when we lose the word “should” and start saying “no”.
I should have added that my husband fully supported my decisions to start saying no and to make more decisions on what will bring joy to my life, his and our family’s. He would be the first one to tell you I’m a much happier and fulfilled person and better wife and mom because of it!
Yes to everything Karen said! No more ‘shoulds’! I tell my daughters, all the time, to take care of themselves and to be nice to themselves because I don’t think I modeled that enough while they were growing up …
Yes, I’ve felt this way before! I’m pretty sure I’m never going to look back and say “I wish I had cleaned the house more”! It’s about what’s important to you and bringing you joy. I blogged for years, enjoyed it and my extended family & friends enjoyed it, but I just can’t keep up with it. Sometimes I’d like to go back and start again, but reality is I just don’t have time. Work gets busier, life gets busier and sometimes it takes all we have just to get thru the day and manage my little household! So it’s okay not to blog, or to clean house!:)
I really like posts that come from the heart. As a reader I sometimes forget that bloggers who I follow are more than their blog. There is more to their life than the things they make, the posts they write and the photos they take. I just see a snippet of the bigger picture.
I’ve recently published an ‘open heart’ post on my blog recently. It was a brain and emotion dump and I didn’t add any pictures 😉
Afterwards, I contemplated taking it down, but realised that post felt right in the moment, it was real and should stay up on the blog.
So, my philosophy is,
Do what feels right to you, when it feels right to do it, in the best way to do it at the time.
This might mean that things aren’t perfect, but the reality is that life isn’t perfect.
Thank you for your post.
Yes I certainly do and one of the best things I ever did was when I hired a cleaning lady about a year ago. I’m still working, though 3 1/2 days a week, and I just didn’t want to spend what time I had at home cleaning. when I worked out the cost versus the additional hours my boss wanted from me, I was actually slightly ahead of the game and the reality that I don’t have to clean another toilet or scrub my huge shower is so worth it.
Totally! One of the hardest but best things I ever did was start saying no! But it gets easier after the first time 🙂
100% Yes! to what Karen said! For the past several years when someone asks me to repair or alter something for them, I refer them to the local alteration shop! No guilt, as I have taken garments there that needed zippers replaced. Like you, I am evaluating how I spend my time and also my possessions. I’m at a time in my life where I am letting go of some commitments and stuff I no longer want cluttering life. BTW, I’m new to your blog and podcasts. I love listening to them while quilting!